HE WON! Holy shit, he did it! And with almost an 8 point lead to boot.

Congratulations to the new representative for AL-2, Shomari Figures!

Oh no, did your flagrant attempts to cheat and subvert the Constitution and the will of voters backfire?

I know a place where all of your homoerotic boot licking fantasies come true. You even get to meet God! I’ll fucking send you there for a nominal fee as long as you sign some paperwork first…

I love a good dummymander. Stretched so far in one direction it goes back to the other, and now the billionaires have to pour even more money into a district they thought was safe. Ooops.

Best of luck to candidate Shomari Figures.