Yea, imagine seeing Caligula when you were of the age where you were unsure if the blue mold stuff growing on your balls that tasted like pennies was a part of the new hairs you were getting down there.

I would put all those hooks up my ass and let them stretch me in all eleven dimensions. Thank God I grew up only with 4chan and Reddit when they had subs like spacedicks and jailbait. Fuck, you remember Ren n Stimpy? Rocko’s Modern Life? Caligula? The shit that poisoned our lil brains…

I have had sex on at least two tectonic plates, that’s how skilled I am at this “Earth” shit, pussy.

I put the DRAM deep in my ass. You are free to investigate at your leisure, up to the shoulder or beyond. It makes no difference to me. Dive in, for all I care. I serve American values with my dilapidated boipussy on the reg and this be my time to shine, y’know?

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I asked my penis, she said start using the bitch. I said I beat you daily and she starts talking about ass and pussy and it’s like I might be the second coming but I ain’t no miracle worker, aight? Fucking get off my dick already, you fucking dick, amirite?

…I know…

…the joke was I was traumatized by how shit they were that my brain overwrote the memories…

I just want a sequel to The Guy Game so I pair it up with its brother I have on this very real shelf I have that holds this also very real physical copy of this game I have amongst other games like Donkey Kong Country 1+2+3, Rollercoaster Tycoon, 1+2, Goldeneye n Perfect Dark, and Myst n Riven. Shame they didn’t make more games in the Myst series. Could have been a great series of, I dunno, five or so games and a book series, but they stopped making them after the second installment as my definitely not self-neuralized brain is telling me. The books were good though. But what were we talking about? Nine-tenths of the law? Tf does that shit mean? Bueller?

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Mine said I’m a pedophile. I’m very insulted. That’s not the right word. I just look at all the feet products! Toe creases are the meaning of life, ok!

Do you smell popcorn?

Ah good. He was in goods with the secret police that’s two thousand or so years old that’s described in the New Testament at an eighth grade reading level, that is a good thing, and I am glad. For additional clarification, I want to make sure that you have understood that I have called out the farce of the police state that is using my still-living and very real bud Jeff’s reputation as a scaffold for thems child hooker things and trafficking and the like, but y’know, we all know how engrossed you are in that nine-figure industry as you are, cardboardboxfort. We see your search history over here in Quantico, or wherever tf you think I am.