spoon-fed content at a 5th grade level or less

That’s still no excuse for (…) employing vast herds of emoji whose subtext are confusing and tenuous at best

You’ll need to pick one.
Also, their message was clearly conveyed perfectly clearly: 🖕🏾

Gerrymandering lets politicians pick their voters. They still actually need to get them to vote for them.

Failing to do so despite gerrymandering is a great way for people who then take apart the gerrymandering to get into office.

Not always. It’s better to say that “military grade” means “very specific standards”.
That also happens to translate to cheap pretty often, but that’s because someone in 1943 wrote the specification for The Standard Tube Sock and ordered 7,500,000,000 pairs to be delivered over the next century. Since it’s precisely specified you know exactly how much you can skimp.
Add that to the trillion pages of compatability requirements and you’re basically never updating anything.
Like how switching lightbulb brands at a nuclear power plant is hard because you need documentation demonstrating that the plastic in the led won’t become a hazard in a radioactive incident.